CROCODILE (1981)
posted 00/00/2008

Directed by:
Sompote Sands

Starring:
Nat Puvanai ... Dr. Akom
Tany Tim
Angela Wells
Kirk Warren ... Tanaka

Country: Thailand | USA
Runtime: 92 min
Original title: Chorake
AKA: Giant Crocodile
         
 

This is the killer animal movie the Zucker brothers of Naked Gun fame probably would have made if they were trying to rip Jaws off. The problem is that this Thai production is trying to be as serious as a heart attack, which makes this laughable, ridiculous piece of crap so much fun and so worth owning if you consider yourself a bad movie connoisseur.

A giant crocodile is on the loose, and no one is safe, especially villagers in Thailand, who are apparently very easy to eat. A voice over in the beginning warns us that if man continues to destroy nature, then nature will destroy us, and in a furiously cheap hurricane, which causes buckets of water to wash Thai people away, a giant crocodile is born to seek vengeance on man. Our heroes, if you can call them that, are two doctor buddies. One is about to get married to a lovely young lady, and the other thinks more about his work than his wife and daughter. However, he always finds time to come home and strip his daughter naked then pat her on the butt to get her ready for bed. While on vacation, the girls are killed by the croc, and the men take action...sort of.

They spend most of the movie wandering around, looking like a bunch of glum sad sacks, and researching crocodiles. Don't let this fool you, the movie does not start to drag in the least. As a matter of fact, this silly little movie is the most enjoyable piece of crap I have ever seen! Meanwhile, the croc attacks village after village. All we see of it is a close-up of its eyeball (which is used about 50 freakin' times) and a giant tail prop that smacks into the miniature sets. The doctor guys finally track down a fisherman who can help them, and he turns out to be a muscular man in Osh-Gosh-Begosh overalls with a tattoo of a giant eagle on his chest, which he likes to show off by undressing for them. They head out on his ship to track down the croc, and the last act is right out of Jaws, down to the barrels and the explosive finale (except I think everyone dies)!

I am sure this movie was done with the best of intentions. They wanted to make a scary movie like Jaws, but wanted to use a different animal so people wouldn't think they were copying the Americans. But guess what, Thailand, we're on to you! This is not only a blatant rip-off, but you've filmed it in a way that makes it look almost like a spoof! There are so many ridiculously ludicrous things in this movie, that I can't possibly mention them all (like the dolls that are supposed to be people caught in the crocodile's magical whirlpool of death, or the horribly mindless acting, or the people being eaten by the croc only spitting up blood but remaining afloat as if nothing happened, etc., etc.) This movie sits right alongside Lady Terminator as classically bad yet entertaining Asian films. But, all in all, I'm a sucker for giant animal movies, and this one was certainly stupid, but I had a hell of a lot of fun watching it! If you go in expecting Naked Gun meets Jaws, then the movie won't feel so much like a croc of shit.

  - Jose Prendes

 

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