I’m sitting here really having a hard time to sleep. When nothing else worked, I did the obvious. I opened up my bag and looked over some DVD’s I had been given earlier in the week. The title that seemed the most enjoyable was Ghidorah: The Three Headed Monster. I popped it in and it gives you the choice right off the bat for either the English dubbed version (even the best job is bad) or the original Japanese version (which I figured reading would make me even more tired). The English version rings in at 84:46 while the Japanese version rang in at 92:58. It only felt right to choose the Japanese version, getting as close as I could to the filmmakers original tiring vision.

The movie starts right off the bat giving me flashbacks of the days where I’d make my G.I. Joe’s fight each other. The quality of my dueling Joe’s might have been better. But that’s the fun of these movies, right? Seeing cheesy looking monsters blowing away Japan? I’m just waiting for the one where the samurais pop out and fight Godzilla and then my life will be complete (if there is one, let me know). After the toys are done fighting it’s time for some major plot! First, the Japs are worried about the hottest woman in the room transmitting to flying saucers. After that brief bit of business it moves quickly to shooting stars and then to what I’ll call their version of global warming. To top things off a princess is coming to town that people are trying to assassinate. All of this thrown into the first five minutes--they don’t waste any time getting to the disaster in Japan. However, it doesn’t stop there. Soon after we see the princess get in a trance that leads to her plane exploding. Then a "shooting star" lands in the mountains and a team of Orkin-esque outfit wearing hikers go in search of it. Oh, wait, the princess may still be alive in the vein of one of those world-coming-to-an-end-warner types that we all have in our local parks—right? Her picture ends up in the paper starting a rat race of sorts to get to her—one wants to killer her and the other wants to save her and more than likely fall in love cause she’s hot and he’s hot and that’s how these things tend to work.

At the 30 minute mark we finally get our first official cheesy monster moment as Rodan, a poorly constructed giant bird creature appears. As soon as it appears, they cut to another scene taking away any excitement I might have gotten from this fellow. This is where I fell asleep.

I turn it on within a few days after feeling pressured to get this done. Within twenty seconds, Godzilla shows up, blowing away a boat. What ensues is lots of monster mayhem with Rodan, Godzilla and King Ghidorah blasting away at Japan. King Ghidorah is built up as undefeatable—Unless Rodan, Godzilla and Mothra (who overlooks an island of microscopic beauties called Infant Island) team up to take him down. Sounds fair.

Without the guys in rubber suits kicking around models, this movie would have nothing. However, since it has that, we get some cheeseball entertainment that you might get some entertainment out of if you’re drunk and bored off your ass. Fans of Godzilla movies will undoubtedly find enjoyment in seeing him team up with others, even if it does make him look inferior and less menacing in the end.