Country: Japan Runtime: 84 min Original title:Kyûketsu Shôjo tai Shôjo Furanken
I used to love watching these balls-to-the-wall gorefests from Japan. Meatball Machine, reviewed on
this site, and the excellent Tokyo Gore Police are fun, wacky splatter fests with fx ranging from cheap to
transcendent. The problem with this new gore genre is that it is exploding by leaps and bounds and
whenever you turn around there seems to be another weirdo Japanese blood-fest coming down the
pike. This movie falls into that category and despite a few promising elements, the film manages to tire
when it should excite.
Jyugon is your typical dashing Japanese male, the kind that all the girls in class wanna go steady with.
He's not your typical cute guy, though. Jyugon is quiet and reserved, and really just a nice guy who
comes off as kinda shy. His life is simple until one fateful valentine's day when he receives a chocolate
from Monami, the new girl in school. Traditionally, in Japan, Valentine's day means the girls give
chocolates to the boys they like, so now we know that Monami (a cutie played by Yukie Kawamura) has
the hots for our pal Jyugon. Jyugon bites into the little bonbon and finds it filled with a tasty red liquid,
which turns out to be Monami's blood. Before you can say "creepy stalker girl", Jyugon starts having hot
flashes and seeing people walking around as only blood-filled veins. The next day Monami reveals that
she is a vampire and she liked him so she decided to turn him into vampire so they could be together,
however she only gave him a taste with the chocolate, so to fully turn he must feed on her directly. She's
also a special kind of blood sucker because she can walk around during the day (over-exposure to the
sun makes her only weak), she has a servant named Igor who doubles as the school janitor, and her jaw
unhinges crazily when she feeds. The good news is that Jyugon likes Monami, the bad news is that the
school vice principal Mr. Furano wants to be the successor to Dr. Frankenstein and is looking to
discover the secrets of life!
He manages to come across a sample of Monami's blood, which bounces around like a Mexican
jumping bean, and decides to experiment on it. Meanwhile, his daughter, who is madly in love with
Jyugon as well, finds him and Monami on the roof. She fights the vampire for Jyugon's affections, and
gets her ass thrown over the railing. She lands with a healthy splat far below on the campus parking lot.
As luck would have it, her father gets the shattered remains of his daughter and uses her mangled
corpse to experiment with Monami's blood. He goes around killing students, harvesting their best assets
(like strong black legs, uncuttable wrists, super smoker lungs) like a good Dr. Frankenstein wanna-be
would do and puts his daughter together into a super powerful monster. Monami is called out and
vampire girl and Frankenstein girl meet up in the school auditorium to have their big ultimate battle and
the prize is good old Jyugon.
What follows is an exhausting (not in a good way), and creative bloodbath that features a rib-cage
weapon that rips faces apart, live, squirming nails used as bullets, and swords made out of solidified
blood. The mostly CG battle goes on for way WAY too long as the gals trade blows and blood and the
movie devolves into near anime status. The entire third act is the battle that culminates in a blood bullets
rainshower that manages to decimate Frankenstein girl. Now Jyugon and Monami are free to be
together forever, but she throws in a last minute bit of info that whenever she turns someone into a
vampire they only live for 100 years and turn to dust. Igor, her servant, just puffed away into dust and
now it's Jyugon's turn. Does that mean she wants him to be her assistant or lover? We never find out
because the film ends as Monami heads into battle one more time with a new monster.
This massively blood-drenched movie does not have the ingenuity of Tokyo Gore Police or the plot,
for that matter. The main problem is that there is nothing really going on except for a love story that is
very easily consummated. So to make the movie run longer, which even now only runs about 80
minutes, they pad it with scene after scene of pointless characters doing silly garbage that bores when it
should entertain. This is not one of the best of the Japanese splatter films, but it's not one of the worst. It
gets such a low coffin score because I was expecting so much and got so very little. If you can find it, it's
worth a watch, but don't plan on watching this again, it's by no means rewatchable.