"A stunning mix of emotion, images, sound, and color, this is high exploitation art at its finest. A solid smack to the senses that leaves you stunned by its
beauty and vision. Amer is not so much interested in plot as it is interested in situations and exploiting these situations (3 of them to be exact) to their
greatest, finest, painstaking detail. The story is about Ana, but not so much about her as it is about her experiences."
-- And Now the Screaming Starts! (1973)
"Then she starts seeing a long-haired man outside her bedroom window. He smiles devilishly, even though his eyes have been gouged completely out of his greasy face. The original owner of the manor house, raped the virginal bride of his stable boy during a drunken party one night, then chopped the man's hand off so that he would learn respect (that's how they did things back then)."
Andy Warhol's Dracula (1974)
"If a horny molasses monster could direct a film about Dracula, this would be the film it would make. Dracula eventually finds a fourth daughter, an older one,
who is a virgin. He bites her, and makes her his bride. But it may be too late because Mario, the sexed-up stable boy, is on to the count and is out to kill him."
Andy Warhol's Frankenstein (1973)
"In the lab below, Frankenstein puts the finishing touches on his female monster and decides to open the stitches running down her belly so he can play with her organs. He orgasms while he touches her liver and spleen, then climbs on top of her (with his hand still deep in her guts) and humps her."
Angel of Death: Fuck or Die (1998)
"Our dumbass heroine’s revenge plan includes killing innocent people and masturbating her breasts while watching her best friend get tortured. If you want to see naked German strumpets you will find plenty here, including female genitalia shots."
Angel of Death 2: The Prison Island Massacre (2007)
"Each girl, upon arrival, is stripped and degraded somehow and stabbed in the pussy with a syringe containing some type of drug. Romay has a steamy lesbian scene with a female guard. We see her old tits and nasty pussy. In fact all of the pussies we see are the floppy long lipped ones, just dangling under the ass."
"The film begins as the character study of a big, fat momma's boy played by Michael Lerner. He's an ophthalmologist by day and a psycho killer by night. Spurred on by his crazy, bird-loving mom he goes out and rips people's eyes out for fun. Luna crafts a powerful scare film where the dread and suspense is palpable."
"It turns out a seemingly normal man was set adrift on a raft with his wife and child, and when hunger set in he ate the shit out of them, thus becoming a super cannibal maniac who has made short work of the entire island and is now targeting the succulent morsels that the tourists represent."
Asphyx, The (1973)
"An Asphyx is a zombie-like ghost creature, and everyone has one. The Asphyx works like your very own personal grim reaper. At the time of death, your Asphyx appears and it takes the soul that leaves your body."
Awful Dr. Orlof, The (1962)
"Dr. Orlof's beloved daughter was horribly disfigured in an accident and he will sacrifice as many whores as he has to so he can rebuild her lovely face. While it sounds (and looks) like a simple skin-grafting issue, and would maybe cause one harlot's death, Orlof keeps fucking up and having to kill more hookers..."
"Elaine woke to find four numbers etched in her skin. The women soon realize that it pertains to a time. When the clock reaches that time the bloody surgeon appears and kills Elaine by slashing her throat. Soon each of the women are branded with the ominous four digits."
Bay of Blood, A (1971)
"When a rich countess is murdered, it stirs up a hornet’s nest of greedy family members who want her property by the bay. There is a great triple kill in the middle and then the film slips back into mystery territory, only then to become a cold-blooded chiller with everyone out to do the other person in."
Beast, The (1975)
"She (Lucy) plays with herself while looking over the horse pictures and a second time by manipulating a rose into her vagina. The creature looks like a
werewolf/boar with an erection. The beast finally captures her and rapes her doggy-style."
Beyond, The (1981)
"She is planning to restore the old place, but along the way she finds out that it sits over one of the seven doors to hell. Oops! But then crazy shit starts to
happen, and the blind chick is eaten by her dog while zombies watch. Kinky!"
Beyond the Darkness (1979)
"Frank is pouring some lethal acid into the bathtub. He pours like three large jugs of the thing. Meanwhile Iris chops off the fat girls arms , legs, and head and tosses them into the tub. The acid eats everything up and there’s a creamy mess leftover."
Black Candles (1982)
"The fucking goat mounts the witch and they start fucking! The bearded man from before is there. He is a devil priest and he’s witnessing the event while uttering demonic prayers. Once the goat has blown his load the priest pricks the witch’s finger and collects a little blood in a chalice."
Black Cobra Woman (1976)
"He watches Eva finger a Chinese girl under the table. In the first 15 minutes we watch her dance naked twice, watch her undress slowly, and then watch her masturbate as she dreams of the Chinese girl going down on her. The film wastes no time letting us know what type of flick this is...and I have no problem with that."
Black Demons (1991)
"The hacienda is cursed - it used to be a coffee plantation where the merciless owners tortured and killed six slaves that tried to escape. Dick has that crazy recording with the black magic bongo beats and he’s compelled to play it at night, by the small graveyard. The vengeful black slaves rise out of the earth as fog and flames fill the area."
Black Sabbath (1963)
"...one of the better anthology horror films ever made! 'The Wurdalak' is the second story, and my favorite. It's the story of a vampire-like curse that befalls a farmer (played by Boris Karloff) and the family he returns to to feed off of."
Blade in the Dark, A (1983)
"Katia is sliced up with a box-cutter by our killer. Bruno finds her diary and learns that the past tenant, Linda, had a secret Katia had discovered. Bruno steps out and when he walks back into the studio a reel of tape has been destroyed and key diary pages ripped from the diary and burned. He doesn’t go to the police, but decides to play amateur detective."
"Lix’s blood is like an eye-opening drug that when consumed get’s the recipient very high. By now he’s humping her like three times a day. Humping and drinking her sweet sunshine sugar milk."
Blood from the Mummy's Tomb (1971)
"We are instantly treated to the half naked woman, still breathing while getting her hand cut off by guys that look more like spacemen than pharaohs. The severed hand bares a big red rock of a ring that has what looks like stars flashing whenever chaos is about to ensue."
Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)
"They lure their young friends into the woods and pretend to play games with them, but in fact they kill them, sacrificing them to their dark lord. He grabs a big-
ass Anime-style sword and charges into the woods as the coven prepares to finally summon the devil and one can only guess its to rule the world or something."
Blood Spattered Bride, The (1972)
"Then things get weird. Susan refuses to give her husband oral sex and then she begins to refuse his advances and even hide from him at times. In this dreamlike state Susan repeatedly stabs her sleeping husband. She later tries to kill him for real, during a walk at the beach with the dildo dagger."
Bloody Moon (1981)
"Miguel dons a Mickey Mouse mask and rapes a girl at a pool party. She struggles more violently when she pulls off his mask because she doesn’t want to be raped by a burn victim psychopath. The best gore killing has to be where one of the girls is lured to an abandoned facility, tied up, and beheaded with an industrial power saw."
Bloody Pit of Horror (1965)
"The Crimson Executioner is put to death in a sword-studded blue coffin for his barbarous acts and left to rot in his castle in the Italian hills for centuries. That is until a group of photographers and their sexy young models show up to use the castle's interior as the perfect backdrop for their photo shoot."
Breaking Point (1975)
"It truly is all about the sex - hardcore pornographic fucking. Bob Bellings is a horny middle-aged man that is obsessed with sex and model trains. He also hates women and fabricates this imaginary world where he is in control."
Brides of Dracula, The (1960)
"Helsing meets the vampire again at the old wind mill where he manages to get bitten on the neck. But this wont stop our bad-ass hero from saving the day. Helsing treats his wounds by cauterizing it then splashing some holy water on his neck and lo and behold, the vampire’s mark has been exorcised."
Burial Ground (1981)
"Evelyn (Michael’s mother) played by Mariangela Giordano is so heartbroken with her son’s death and when he returns, even as a zombie, she lets him get fresh with her and offers him milk to his mouth. Yes a zombie boy sucks warm milk from his mother's brest then bites and yanks a chunk of breast off her. Most of the characters are killed off by disembowelment or other cruel ways."
Burning Moon, The (1992)
"They poke his eye out with a corkscrew and cut open his chest and pull the intestines out. Then for the grand finale they pull apart his legs so far that he tears in half. I have never seen a film attempt this and show all of it on camera, without flinching. The result was marvelous. Pure madness."
Cannibal Ferox (1981)
"Mike's filthy cock is cut off and eaten uncooked! The cannibals go as far as cauterizing the wound so he won’t bleed out and be able to suffer more. Pat is tied up and has her sun goldened boobies exposed for a while, just long enough to have hooks put through her tits and have her hoisted up."
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
"They terrorize a village and set it on fire and later they take turns raping a native girl. There is plenty of blood for the gore hound, extreme rapes for the sleazy
and if you have a taste for animal torture then you will leave satisfied."
Cannibal Man, The (1973)
"It goes something along the lines of a butcher who accidentally kills a man and it triggers dormant homicidal tendencies. He then kills half a dozen people over the course of a week and I guess he eats them. Instead of disposing of the bodies immediately he keeps them inside his house, stinking up the whole place."
Cannibal Terror (1980)
"It’s weird because Manuela is lifting up her skirt and laughing with the gangsters even though she had just been raped! The cannibals are white Europeans, some with beer bellies and some with sideburns. It seems they were given yellow, red and blue paint and they each painted anything they wanted on each other’s faces."
"Suddenly three or four cannibals attack the boat and gang-eat the scientist’s wife. These cannibalistic frenzies are shot so close-up that you see a mouth,
then a breast, then a mouth chewing a steak, then some hair. Oh God, and these things run for several hypnotizing minutes."
Cat in the Brain, A (1990)
"Fulci stars and directs in this picture about a horror film director tormented by the excess violence and sex in his work. He wonders if he is going crazy and even if perhaps he has become a homicidal maniac. There are multiple beheadings with knives, blunt sticks and by chainsaw."
Creatures from the Abyss (1994)
"The deep sea fish had been feeding on radioactive plankton. The results were a variety of horny fish creatures that probably killed the crew. Mike learns that they are sexually endowed and I think the scientists were fucking these things."
Curse III: Blood Sacrifice (1991)
"When a young kid dies within the tribe a goat must be sacrificed to the sea spirit or it will get angry and kill. The interruption of the ceremony earlier has awakened the sea demon, which looks like a cross between Jason Voorhees (because it actually wields a machete) and the creature from the black lagoon."
Curse of Frankenstein, The (1957)
"The following are the characteristics that made Curse so wonderful, all of which would be repeated many times over during Hammer’s glorious history and
would forge a style that would be known as Hammer Horror: Gothic atmosphere, Christopher Lee as the Creature, and Peter Cushing as Creature Destroyer / Creator."
Dark Waters (1993)
"Nearly every scene is a dark and stormy night, the catacombs are littered with melting candles and everything has a grim, supernatural doom feeling. The main thing is the sea demon that the nuns have trapped. I guess they guard the barrier and break apart a scary seal into pieces.
If you put all the pieces together the demon is released."
"The film starts with a peculiar man with a metal mask and magician costume walking around the train station handing out invites to the secretive showing at the shady Metropol theatre. A bunch of different people become trapped in the theatre overrun by demons. Ok, this is a good idea, but what else is there???"
Devil's Backbone, The (2001)
"He then covers up his mess by tying up the corpse, taking it downstairs and dropping it into a pool or murky water. Don’t ask. I don’t know what a deep pool is doing in the basement of the kitchen."
Devil Hunter, The (1980)
"The final battle between Peter and the cannibal devil god (a hulking young black man with protruding bloody eyes) is short but sweet. Since the devil god doesn’t believe in clothing, not even a loin cloth, there’s an abundance of flapping penis as the two men fight each other."
Devil's Nightmare, The (1971)
"This is one of those Euro gothic tales that involves a creepy castle and a pact with the devil. A group of tourists seek shelter in a creepy castle inhabited by a
Baron whose ancestor had made a pact with the devil. Every generation’s first born female will become a succubus, a diabolical demon temptress of men."
Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)
"Bizarre and brutal murders are happening all over England and the victims are all guys in Santa suits. He blows one Santa's head off, he barbecues another, and he embarrasses an elderly Santa in front of a very nice stripper by stabbing him in the brain and splattering his blood all over the glass separating him from the lovely young tart."
Eaten Alive! (1980)
"Jonas drugs Sheila and has her naked on a bed with her legs open. He then pulls out a homemade snake head dildo dripping with snake blood and thrusts it quite hard up in her. We don’t understand these rituals but we sure enjoy them."
Evil Clutch (1988)
"The film begins when a poor, unsuspecting guy has his balls gouged away by a 'gal' with chicken claws for hands after making out with her in a barn. He dies from ball blood loss and she turns into a vampire (!?) and giggles at him."
Evil Eye (1975)
"The story is about a rich playboy, Peter Crane, that becomes hexed by an occult sect, driving him to commit murders. When the diabolical nightmares plant themselves into the center of the action, Peter is left dazed and unhinged, although he still manages to bed many a lady."
"This is sold as an exorcism movie, but the title event takes up maybe 5 minutes towards the end. In the meantime the padding is filled with random killing, a
detective subplot, lots of religious discussions, psycho-babble and some non-interesting 'scare' sequences, which are sparse."
Fantom Kiler (1998)
"Nowicki portrays them (women) being brutally taunted, debased and slaughtered in what he calls 'a schizophrenic comedy and erotic horror fantasy'. He finishes things up by stabbing her vagina 38 times (I counted) in a frenzy and leaving her to bleed out."
Fantom Kiler 2 (1999)
"The masked defender of men returns! Kinska wakes up in a warehouse completely naked and tied up. The Fantom Kiler teasingly knives her nipples and vagina flaps before stabbing her to death over fifty times with a cheap spring-loaded prop knife."
Fantom Kiler 3 (2003)
"If you watch the movie you will agree with me that no one wears that dress with no bra and stands like a hooker on a corner ready to pounce if they aren't practically begging to be raped. Anyway, this gal strips for a couple of pervy mechanics to pay the bill on some car repairs, and then they try to rape her, but she escapes and kills the men in a bloody blast of violence."
Fantom Kiler 4 (2008)
"When he is finished he grabs a knife and grabs a handful of her muff to slice off her plump lips, only to have her spring back to life and escape. The fucking girl gets the drop on the dude and pulls a straight razor out of her ass (YES, WE SEE HER YANK IT OUT OF HER BUTT HOLE...IN CLOSE UP) and she uses it to slice off the rapist's dick."
"In a stunning, iconic sequence a nude Eva in a black cloak reminiscent of Dracula himself slashes the woman to death with the scythe. Death comes in the form of 5 women and the film fully embraces its horror elements at this point, graduating from soft core to blood gore."
Fear(s) of the Dark (2007)
"This 83 minute French film is basically an animated Creepshow. Come into this movie expecting a dazzling feast for the eyes. Done in simple black and white, the film's stunning contrast in animation styles and moods makes it an astounding viewing experience, especially for art students and graphic novel fans."
Female Vampire (1973)
"Then she meets up with some other people, has sex with them and drinks their genital blood. Then she goes to a castle somewhere, where these 2 girls
strip her naked and whip her, then she has sex with them and drinks their genital blood."
Flesh and Blood Show, The (1972)
"These no-face actors are being picked off one by one (at an incredibly leisurely pace) by a mysterious madman. We are handed a black and white flashback that explains how one night an actor went crazy and left his cheating wife and her lover essentially buried alive in the basement of the theater."
"Dorothy Yates is sent to a mental institution in 1957, along with her husband Edmond, for having murdered and eaten a half dozen people. She worked in a carnival, as a fortune teller, but I’m afraid 'your going to be hit over the head, chewed and digested' wasn’t exactly the type of news people wanted to hear"
"The evil incarnate lies within a cheap-looking clown doll, which I will call Crapo the clown for the purposes of this review, which belonged to some guy who put it in his will that he was to be buried with it, but the mortuary attendant decides to take the doll and give it to his daughter, Henrietta - she gets possessed by the spirit of Crapo and takes over the house."
Ghost Son (2007)
"One time Stacey is breast-feeding the baby and he bites down on her nipple and causes her to bleed. Cool(!), but baby’s don’t have teeth(???) My personal
favorite is when baby is taking a shower with mom and he reaches down to grab and squeeze her boob! The baby creeps her out all the time."
Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay (1971)
"All the magical elements are perfectly blended with eroticism to produce a sumptuous feast for the viewer. You can’t go wrong with two lesbian friends who stumble upon a lesbian witch with countless girl slaves in an enchanted castle."
Hell of the Living Dead (1980)
"The lab mishap spawns flesh-eating zombies that massacre everyone and spread out across the jungle. Before the media can expose the zombie accident a special swat team of incompetent clowns are sent in to blow up the compound and kick some zombie ass. Lia, a reporter, and her cameraman Max are also there to get in the way..."
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
"It should have been called Hellraiser: Backstory, because we get to see a nice little backstory sequence to how Pinhead is born and how Tiffany lost her voice. It could also have been called Hellraiser: Run Through Corridors, because almost every other moment has Kirsty and Tiffany running through the corridors of hell for minutes on end."
"This is a solid creep-fest, with a great combination of eerie atmosphere and stellar gore work. Everything from Frank's rebirth in the muck and slime to the giant creature with the massive stinger that chases Kirsty through her brief trip in hell make this movie not only memorable but one worth watching multiple times."
Hercules in the Haunted World (1961)
"The evil rituals continue to play out as the dead rise from their tombs to attack. There is and will be only one weapon of choice for our hero and that would be large stones. He chucks them with ease at the zombies..."
Horror Express (1972)
"At first we are led to believe that the Neanderthal monster is some kind of hell beast due to its glowing eye and how it makes its victims bleed from their orifices and whites out their eyes. But after the creature is shot to death, we realize that it was possessed by some sentient evil being and it has now hopped into someone else's body."
Horror of Dracula (1958)
"The film is a beautiful technicolor masterpiece of old-fashioned gothic filmmaking that would have fit right in with the films of the 1930s and '40s. Featuring
Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, heaving bosoms, and the world's first bloody Dracula, how in the world could you go wrong?"
Horror Rises from the Tomb (1973)
"The socialites end up crashing where the warlock was buried. Soon enough people become possessed and the killing spree begins. Notably, in true horror fashion, the women tend to lose some clothing around the time of their untimely deaths."
House on Straw Hill (1976)
"Paul Martin, author, is having a hell of a time completing his second novel. He hires Linda, a typist who loves to masturbate to pictures of her boyfriend. While rubbing her clit in the wheat fields one day, two pervy country bumpkins show up and rape her at shotgun point. Off camera, she manages to get the shotgun and blow the bastards away (and not in the good way)."
"Who would have imagined that you could make a hell of a tense movie about a pregnant lady fending off a crazy woman that takes place pretty much in a bathroom?!? ...others show up at the house (friends of Sarah, cops, etc.) and end up getting stabbed, bludgeoned, and dismembered in their quest to protect the defenseless Sarah."
Julie Darling (1983)
"I suggest tracking this film down if you enjoy a good game of chess or just like seeing Sybil Danning's ample bosom heaving. It may start a bit slow, but as soon as Julie's mom gets raped, the film slides into exploitation mode and becomes a clever mix of cat-and-mouse suspense, serial killer drama, and incest sleaze."
Jungle Holocaust (1977)
"We are treated to some graphic animal torture, cannibal attacks, human gore and savagery. You can’t miss the scene where a native woman gives birth to a child, cuts the umbilical cord with her teeth then drops the kid back in the water, providing an alligator lunch."
"After a botched bank robbery three criminals kidnap a woman and carjack a vehicle driven by an older gentleman who is taking his sick daughter to the hospital. This is a high-tension ride, and it will keep you on the edge of your seat, guaranteed."
Kill Baby, Kill (1966)
"The ghost girl was named Melissa Graps, and bled to death during a festival in the town where no one lent her a helping or even notice her during the drunken revelry. Now her angry ghost returns to scare the heartless villagers into killing themselves. Swathed in lush, colorful lighting with elegantly composed shots, this atmospheric Italian ghost story is perfect watching for a dark and stormy night."
Kong Island (1968)
"Albert turns out to be a mad scientist and he hides away in a jungle cave to carry out experiments on gorillas. He sticks a metal thing in their brains and this makes them his personal army, which he probably wants to rule the world with."
Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires, The (1974)
"Within the main chamber there is a very large cauldron with boiling blood. Around the cauldron are seven closed coffin like planks where topless Chinese
women victims can often be found screaming during an evening of blood drinking. The golden vampires, once fed, wait for Dracula to bang his gong (I’m not
kidding) and unleash them upon the village."
Let Sleeping Corpses Lie (1974)
"This is the hippie tree-hugger's zombie film. I wasn't expecting the zombie feasting to be so viscerally gory, so when they rip into the stomach of an unlucky cop and eat his guts it took me by surprise because up until then the film had been kind of dull."
Let the Right One In (2008)
"Cramming in tortured love, violent, blood-soaked murders, and vampire hunter story points, this quiet little film does all a vampire film is expected to do, but adds a different dimension that most of them don’t have... The film certainly draws blood freely when it knows it has to."
Living Dead Girl, The (1982)
"She moves like a zombie. Her face is blank and unreadable. She’s just as shocked as anyone that she is now alive. Catherine throat pokes the guy and he gushes throat blood on his fully nude girlfriend who also gets a throat poke. When Helene arrives after the killings she finds Catherine playing the piano fully nude."
"Lucy has grown spiteful of her mother and begins a weird plan to throw things into disarray. And she starts by drowning her brother Michael in the bathtub. How this could be revenge is only logical in a twisted mind and Lucy is just that. The blind man gets aroused and gets fresh with Mrs. Baker during a strange, erotic bed-making scene. Later on she (Mrs. Baker) withdraws deeper into her sole obsession with her dead lover."
Macumba Sexual (1983)
"Tara (a transsexual who began life as a man) is known as The Goddess of Unspeakable Lust. She draws something in the sand and produces a small white statue. After performing fellatio on it her slaves stick it in her vagina and lick her tits until she goes crazy. The next morning they all meet up again with Alice inside the house and have an orgy."
"There is a sexual force unleashed upon the Karoll family. Bimba masturbates with stuffed animals. During a dinner party she lifts up her nightgown and flashes her boobs and pussy to everyone there. Bimba slowly seduces the nun and fondles her boobs and pussy."
Man From Deep River (1972)
"These are the adventures of a curious English photographer in an exotic land who falls in love with a 'froth at the crotch' hot primitive girl, played angelically by
Me Me Lai. When it’s their turn the man sticks his hand in and is free to grope Maraya wherever he pleases. All the men grope her firm boobs and lower areas of her body."
Mark of the Devil (1970)
"In a small German town the local witch-finder Albino (yes that’s his name) thinks he is above the law and could get away with almost anything, abusing his power. Albino denounces Vanessa as a witch and she is whipped, poked (not with what your thinking) with a pointy metal stick and incarcerated."
Monster Dog (1984)
"Rockstar God Alice Cooper plays...a rockstar, believe it or not, who may just be a werewolf. His father was murdered and burned to ashes by the townsfolk because they believed he was a werewolf that was controlling all the local dogs and killing off the innocent townsfolk."
Mountain of the Cannibal God, The (1978)
"While the tribe is sleeping, recovering from their lust orgies, a cannibal unties Susan and tries to rape her. He is caught and has his penis chopped off. You
get a full frontal shot of the action. I thought this was done extremely well. The next sexually charged scene is of a boy having intercourse with a pig. The pig
"One evening he brings Betty home a surprise. Inside a black plastic bag is a full rotting corpse. They rip open the bag right there and begin to make love to the
corpse. To cope with the loss of his bitch girlfriend he goes to the movies and kills a cat and bathes in its blood and meats."
Night Child (1972)
"Marcus is the strangest twelve year old boy you’ll ever meet. He has a disturbing history which includes animal abuse, sexual perversion and possibly violent
behavior. If you want to see a crazy son of a bitch kid that gets turned on by watching his parents have sex this is also your movie."
Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave, The (1971)
"Alan is so messed up by his wife's infidelities and death that he goes around picking up hookers that look like her. Back at his place he forces them to dance topless and makes them wear tall, black boots for him so he can whip their hide good with a long bullwhip."
Nightmare City (1980)
"This film is unique in the annals of living dead cinema. Gone are the slowly, shuffling zombies. Here we see men, real men not monsters, carrying guns and knives and acting like maniacs that are thirsty for warm blood and flesh. The gore and the action are top notch, making this a classic splatter epic that never slows down and never disappoints."
Oasis of the Zombies (1981)
"There is not much violence to the attacks and the zombies look decidedly z-grade, but there's a bit of gore as intestines are pulled hither and thither. The oasis location is strangely cozy and eerie at the same time, giving the film a nice atmosphere. The acting is at rock-stupid levels, the quality of the filmmaking is amateurish at best."
"A young (and very cute) Jennifer Connelly arrives at a creepy boarding school in Europe somewhereonly to find out that a psycho killer (is there any other kind?) is on the loose. It just so happens that Jennifer has some kind of connection with the killer and has a strange bond with insects as well."
Philosophy of a Knife (2008)
"This movie is a 'horror' documentary about Unit 731 and is based on real events. This unit dealt with biological and chemical warfare experiments on human beings by the Imperial Japanese army during WW2. Watch for: fetus removal, radiation exposure, teeth removal, forced rape, insertion of cockroaches into vagina and so much more!"
"He whacks her good a couple of times in the head then saws up her body into pieces. Our chainsaw wielding hero does a darn good job of cutting things up. There are a couple of chainsaw beheadings, an arm sliced off and other cool gruesome shots."
Premutos: Lord of the Living Dead (1999)
"Mathias blacks out like four times and is transported to medieval battlefields, Scotland and for some bizarre reason to the scene of Christ’s crucifixion. They want to establish that the dark demon lord Premutos has existed in the pain and suffering of humanity forever. Premutos is like the ultimate badass demon, even stronger and older than Satan."
"The way to come back after dying is just to die....but to believe in your heart of hearts that you will return. That's it! That's all there is. It's that simple. His gang buries him with full honors, which means they dig a deep ass hole and bury him sitting up on his motorcycle. He rides right out of the grave and instead of a bit of flesh eating and carnage, he has to GET GAS FOR HIS MOTORCYCLE!"
Rat Man (1988)
"We are introduced to the world's stupidest doctor who has brilliantly combined the semen of a rat and the egg of a monkey and created the Ratman. Little did they know that Ratman had stowed away in her purse and as soon as their plane is in the air, all hell breaks loose."
"Angela and her cameraman tag along and follow two firemen into an apartment building where the neighbors are complaing about the screams coming out of an old ladies apartment. They run upstairs with the cops that have responded to the scene and find the old lady bloody and out of her freaking mind! She bites one of the cops and all hell breaks loose."
Satan's Baby Doll (1982)
"There is a disturbing paraplegic jerk-off scene when the nun gives Miria's wheelchair bound uncle a sponge bath and there are a lot of other ridiculous things in this movie that make no sense. If you like your possession horror movies with some boobies and a bit of foreign weirdness, then you'll dig this movie."
She Killed in Ecstasy (1971)
"She follows him to his apartment and magically posits herself in her underwear on his bed! Her ready and waiting body is too much to resist so Dr. Houston starts kissing her warm flesh. She stabs him in the head with a pair of metal scissors just as he’s starting to eat out her cooch!"
Sinful Dwarf, The (1973)
"Dwarves are great, but perverted pimp dwarves are even better! Olaf is a creepy dwarf guy who runs a boarding house kind of thing with his bat-shit crazy mother. But behind the scenes, the boarding house is merely a cover for a den of drugged-up girls who are being held against their wills in the attic and are pimped out by Olaf, the sinful dwarf."
Strip Nude For Your Killer (1975)
"The gynecologist soon turns up murdered by someone in a black motorcycle get-up, with the helmet and all and now we have the foundation for a giallo. I felt as if my body were disemboweling itself while watching the many drab, ill paced, poorly lit sequences. I’m glad all the women were either fully naked or showing boob or this movie would have suffered a red death coffin."
Tell-Tale Heart, The (1960)
"Edgar Marsh is a shy, young recluse with seedy habits. He works as a librarian and lives alone; spending his free time snorting crack, leering at girls at the saloon and perusing his stag picture collection on lonely nights. Often sick and depressed but makes an effort to peep out his window into Betty’s room as she undresses."
"All of the killings seem to be related to Neal’s book. In one occasion pages from the novel were stuffed into a victim’s mouth. And of course Neal begins to receive anonymous letters from a supposed obsessed fan turned killer. The ex wife gets her arm chopped off in one of the most splatterific scenes I have ever seen. She holds her freaking stump as blood squirts allover the walls."
"Well the thrill of hunting young sex kittens is the heart of the movie; the subtle relationship between predator and prey. Almost every scene is charged with erotic or violent tension. There is plenty of nudity and a few sweet lesbian scenes thrown in. How can anyone not like this movie?"
Tragic Ceremony (1972)
"A group of hippies unwittingly runs into a cult of devil worshippers on the night of one of their biggest rituals. Somehow they make the cult kill themselves (?), which allows for some great gore moments, but doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense."
Troll 2 (1990)
"The goblins take the form of human beings so as to draw real folks to danger. Goblins feed on humans but are vegetarians. So what they have to do is feed humans green concoctions (specially formulated meals disguised as average food) that will turn them into vegetation and render them edible to the goblins. You might be asking yourself if this all sounds messed up. Well it is, it’s amazing."
Two Evil Eyes (1990)
"Then the old man dies while under hypnosis and he’s caught between this world and the next. He says that the others are going to use him as a vessel to cross to our world. The second story is titled: The Black Cat directed by Argento. Harvey Keitel plays Roderick Usher, an unstable crime photographer. As to Argento’s story...casting Harvey Keitel in this role was really weird."
Vampire Lovers, The (1970)
"This entire film is just an hour and a half of dullness. It follows a vampire named Marcilla who is put into the care of Grand Moff Tarkin himself, Peter Cushing, unbeknownst that she's a bloodsucker with an appetite for the ladies. We get everything from Carmilla chasing Emma around naked, to a shot that solely consists of a close-up of boobs pressing against a cross, it's just all very pointless."
Violent Shit (1989)
"Karl gets shot but I suppose his demonic adrenaline kept him going. After all, he needs to prowl the woods and butcher unsuspecting people for the rest of the movie. A young woman gets her boob cut off; another gets her vagina stabbed and sliced up. Some dude gets his arm and dick severed. Two fowl mouthed tree trimmers are slaughtered by decapitation and one is sawed in half."
Virgin Among the Living Dead, A (1973)
"Then Christina wakes up in the morning and finds (I kid you not) a black dildo statue on the floor. She crawls to it in slow motion and smashes it, then Carmenze's blind slave girl appears in the corner and tells her that she has destroyed their only protection. Trust me, I doesn't make much sense in the film either."
Welcome to Spring Break (1989)
"The killer rides a motorcycle with a devil’s pitch fork in back. He is dressed in black and never takes off his motorcycle helmet which covers his whole face.
The Demons biker gang and the police are at each other’s throats and it could be that Diablo is back from hell to exact his plan of revenge."
Werewolf Shadow (1971)
"Genevieve tells Waldemar she’s looking for the grave of this vampire witch buried nearby. They agree to go looking for it in the morning. Waldemar conveniently forgets to tell the girls that he’s also living with his mental case sister and that he’s a muthafucking WEREWOLF!"
Werewolf Woman (1976)
"Daniela's ancestor was a werewolf and she would dance naked in a ring of torches and turn into a hairy-breasted retard and eat people. Basically our 'werewolf' woman (Daniela) stalks from location to location, watching people have sex and then killing them with her lame normal teeth and normal fingernails. Eventually she is arrested for being fucking crazy....and not a werewolf."
Who Can Kill a Child? (1976)
"But soon we start to realize, if not immediately by the creepy aura the kids are giving off, that all the adults have been killed off because the kids have suddenly
gone berserk and become homicidal. The third great moment involves the change that takes place in the child baking in Evelyn's oven. That's right folks, a fetus kills its mother. There's a first for everything!"
Who Saw Her Die? (1972)
"A strange woman dressed in mourning attire is murdering red-headed little girls for some reason. Franco, a painter who lives in Venice, just so happens to have a red-headed daughter, Roberta. Well, Franco goes off to fuck some girl he is having an affair with and his daughter goes missing. Days later, her little body is found floating in the river."
Wicker Man, The (1973)
"There is everything from boisterous song and dance to sexual aberrations and bizarre rituals. Anyway, in this rite young naked girls in a circle take turns jumping through a fire pit in the center. The big May festival is here and all the freaks are out in their animal costumes. It’s like a carnival of depravity."
Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft (1998)
"Spanner is out, and Lutz takes center stage. Lutz (buxom Stephanie Beaton) returns from part 9 to reprise her role. The best scene is about a half hour in when we got a boatload of nudity. Beaton takes a sultry, big-breasted bath, the evil Raven and Hyde have crazy sex, and Celeste and her boyfriend Harry make it on their comfy bed."
Zombi 3 (1988)
"A huge swarm of undead killers prowl the earth, eating faces, and killing in other ways. The virus has seemingly infected a hell of a lot more people in a short time. The military break out their anti-contamination squad to quarantine the area and kill everyone in the surrounding radius."
"A great Fulci film is like a sledgehammer to the groin, and this movie is a spiked sledgehammer set ablaze. There is an amazing, cringe-worthy scene in which a beautiful naked woman has her head forced toward a broken doorway by a rather violent zombie, and the closer she gets you start to realize that he's going to poke her in the eye with a splintery piece of door, and the final gory finish has to be seen to be believed."
Zombie Holocaust (1980)
"Peter is captured and George has his eyes poked out, is disemboweled, and eaten. I don’t remember how Lori ends up with the cannibals inside a large cave, fully naked, having cannibal girls paint blue flowers on her body."