EUROPEAN HORROR

Amer (2009)
"A stunning mix of emotion, images, sound, and color, this is high exploitation art at its finest. A solid smack to the senses that leaves you stunned by its beauty and vision. Amer is not so much interested in plot as it is interested in situations and exploiting these situations (3 of them to be exact) to their greatest, finest, painstaking detail. The story is about Ana, but not so much about her as it is about her experiences."

-- And Now the Screaming Starts! (1973)
"Then she starts seeing a long-haired man outside her bedroom window. He smiles devilishly, even though his eyes have been gouged completely out of his greasy face. The original owner of the manor house, raped the virginal bride of his stable boy during a drunken party one night, then chopped the man's hand off so that he would learn respect (that's how they did things back then)."

Andy Warhol's Dracula (1974)
"If a horny molasses monster could direct a film about Dracula, this would be the film it would make. Dracula eventually finds a fourth daughter, an older one, who is a virgin. He bites her, and makes her his bride. But it may be too late because Mario, the sexed-up stable boy, is on to the count and is out to kill him."

Andy Warhol's Frankenstein (1973)
"In the lab below, Frankenstein puts the finishing touches on his female monster and decides to open the stitches running down her belly so he can play with her organs. He orgasms while he touches her liver and spleen, then climbs on top of her (with his hand still deep in her guts) and humps her."

Angel of Death: Fuck or Die (1998)
"Our dumbass heroine’s revenge plan includes killing innocent people and masturbating her breasts while watching her best friend get tortured. If you want to see naked German strumpets you will find plenty here, including female genitalia shots."

Anguish (1987)
"The film begins as the character study of a big, fat momma's boy played by Michael Lerner. He's an ophthalmologist by day and a psycho killer by night. Spurred on by his crazy, bird-loving mom he goes out and rips people's eyes out for fun. Luna crafts a powerful scare film where the dread and suspense is palpable."

Antropophagus (1980)
"It turns out a seemingly normal man was set adrift on a raft with his wife and child, and when hunger set in he ate the shit out of them, thus becoming a super cannibal maniac who has made short work of the entire island and is now targeting the succulent morsels that the tourists represent."

Beyond, The (1981)
"She is planning to restore the old place, but along the way she finds out that it sits over one of the seven doors to hell. Oops! But then crazy shit starts to happen, and the blind chick is eaten by her dog while zombies watch. Kinky!"

Beyond the Darkness (1979)
"Frank is pouring some lethal acid into the bathtub. He pours like three large jugs of the thing. Meanwhile Iris chops off the fat girls arms , legs, and head and tosses them into the tub. The acid eats everything up and there’s a creamy mess leftover."

Blood (2000)
"Lix’s blood is like an eye-opening drug that when consumed get’s the recipient very high. By now he’s humping her like three times a day. Humping and drinking her sweet sunshine sugar milk."

Blood from the Mummy's Tomb (1971)
"We are instantly treated to the half naked woman, still breathing while getting her hand cut off by guys that look more like spacemen than pharaohs. The severed hand bares a big red rock of a ring that has what looks like stars flashing whenever chaos is about to ensue."

Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)
"They lure their young friends into the woods and pretend to play games with them, but in fact they kill them, sacrificing them to their dark lord. He grabs a big- ass Anime-style sword and charges into the woods as the coven prepares to finally summon the devil and one can only guess its to rule the world or something."

Blood Spattered Bride, The (1972)
"Then things get weird. Susan refuses to give her husband oral sex and then she begins to refuse his advances and even hide from him at times. In this dreamlike state Susan repeatedly stabs her sleeping husband. She later tries to kill him for real, during a walk at the beach with the dildo dagger."

Bloody Pit of Horror (1965)
"The Crimson Executioner is put to death in a sword-studded blue coffin for his barbarous acts and left to rot in his castle in the Italian hills for centuries. That is until a group of photographers and their sexy young models show up to use the castle's interior as the perfect backdrop for their photo shoot."

Brides of Dracula, The (1960)
"Helsing meets the vampire again at the old wind mill where he manages to get bitten on the neck. But this wont stop our bad-ass hero from saving the day. Helsing treats his wounds by cauterizing it then splashing some holy water on his neck and lo and behold, the vampire’s mark has been exorcised."

Burial Ground (1981)
"Evelyn (Michael’s mother) played by Mariangela Giordano is so heartbroken with her son’s death and when he returns, even as a zombie, she lets him get fresh with her and offers him milk to his mouth. Yes a zombie boy sucks warm milk from his mother's brest then bites and yanks a chunk of breast off her. Most of the characters are killed off by disembowelment or other cruel ways."

Burning Moon, The (1992)
"They poke his eye out with a corkscrew and cut open his chest and pull the intestines out. Then for the grand finale they pull apart his legs so far that he tears in half. I have never seen a film attempt this and show all of it on camera, without flinching. The result was marvelous. Pure madness."

Cannibal Ferox (1981)
"Mike's filthy cock is cut off and eaten uncooked! The cannibals go as far as cauterizing the wound so he won’t bleed out and be able to suffer more. Pat is tied up and has her sun goldened boobies exposed for a while, just long enough to have hooks put through her tits and have her hoisted up."

Cannibal Man, The (1973)
"It goes something along the lines of a butcher who accidentally kills a man and it triggers dormant homicidal tendencies. He then kills half a dozen people over the course of a week and I guess he eats them. Instead of disposing of the bodies immediately he keeps them inside his house, stinking up the whole place."

Cannibals (1980)
"Suddenly three or four cannibals attack the boat and gang-eat the scientist’s wife. These cannibalistic frenzies are shot so close-up that you see a mouth, then a breast, then a mouth chewing a steak, then some hair. Oh God, and these things run for several hypnotizing minutes."

Cat in the Brain, A (1990)
"Fulci stars and directs in this picture about a horror film director tormented by the excess violence and sex in his work. He wonders if he is going crazy and even if perhaps he has become a homicidal maniac. There are multiple beheadings with knives, blunt sticks and by chainsaw."

Curse of Frankenstein, The (1957)
"The following are the characteristics that made Curse so wonderful, all of which would be repeated many times over during Hammer’s glorious history and would forge a style that would be known as Hammer Horror: Gothic atmosphere, Christopher Lee as the Creature, and Peter Cushing as Creature Destroyer / Creator."

Dark Waters (1993)
"Nearly every scene is a dark and stormy night, the catacombs are littered with melting candles and everything has a grim, supernatural doom feeling. The main thing is the sea demon that the nuns have trapped. I guess they guard the barrier and break apart a scary seal into pieces. If you put all the pieces together the demon is released."

Devil's Backbone, The (2001)
"He then covers up his mess by tying up the corpse, taking it downstairs and dropping it into a pool or murky water. Don’t ask. I don’t know what a deep pool is doing in the basement of the kitchen."

Devil Hunter, The (1980)
"The final battle between Peter and the cannibal devil god (a hulking young black man with protruding bloody eyes) is short but sweet. Since the devil god doesn’t believe in clothing, not even a loin cloth, there’s an abundance of flapping penis as the two men fight each other."

Devil's Nightmare, The (1971)
"This is one of those Euro gothic tales that involves a creepy castle and a pact with the devil. A group of tourists seek shelter in a creepy castle inhabited by a Baron whose ancestor had made a pact with the devil. Every generation’s first born female will become a succubus, a diabolical demon temptress of men."

Don't Open Till Christmas (1984)
"Bizarre and brutal murders are happening all over England and the victims are all guys in Santa suits. He blows one Santa's head off, he barbecues another, and he embarrasses an elderly Santa in front of a very nice stripper by stabbing him in the brain and splattering his blood all over the glass separating him from the lovely young tart."

Eaten Alive! (1980)
"Jonas drugs Sheila and has her naked on a bed with her legs open. He then pulls out a homemade snake head dildo dripping with snake blood and thrusts it quite hard up in her. We don’t understand these rituals but we sure enjoy them."

Exorcismo (1975)
"This is sold as an exorcism movie, but the title event takes up maybe 5 minutes towards the end. In the meantime the padding is filled with random killing, a detective subplot, lots of religious discussions, psycho-babble and some non-interesting 'scare' sequences, which are sparse."

Fantom Kiler (1998)
"Nowicki portrays them (women) being brutally taunted, debased and slaughtered in what he calls 'a schizophrenic comedy and erotic horror fantasy'. He finishes things up by stabbing her vagina 38 times (I counted) in a frenzy and leaving her to bleed out."

Female Vampire (1973)
"Then she meets up with some other people, has sex with them and drinks their genital blood. Then she goes to a castle somewhere, where these 2 girls strip her naked and whip her, then she has sex with them and drinks their genital blood."

Frightmare (1974)
"Dorothy Yates is sent to a mental institution in 1957, along with her husband Edmond, for having murdered and eaten a half dozen people. She worked in a carnival, as a fortune teller, but I’m afraid 'your going to be hit over the head, chewed and digested' wasn’t exactly the type of news people wanted to hear"

Ghost Son (2007)
"One time Stacey is breast-feeding the baby and he bites down on her nipple and causes her to bleed. Cool(!), but baby’s don’t have teeth(???) My personal favorite is when baby is taking a shower with mom and he reaches down to grab and squeeze her boob! The baby creeps her out all the time."

Girl Slaves of Morgana Le Fay (1971)
"All the magical elements are perfectly blended with eroticism to produce a sumptuous feast for the viewer. You can’t go wrong with two lesbian friends who stumble upon a lesbian witch with countless girl slaves in an enchanted castle."

Hell of the Living Dead (1980)
"The lab mishap spawns flesh-eating zombies that massacre everyone and spread out across the jungle. Before the media can expose the zombie accident a special swat team of incompetent clowns are sent in to blow up the compound and kick some zombie ass. Lia, a reporter, and her cameraman Max are also there to get in the way..."

Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
"It should have been called Hellraiser: Backstory, because we get to see a nice little backstory sequence to how Pinhead is born and how Tiffany lost her voice. It could also have been called Hellraiser: Run Through Corridors, because almost every other moment has Kirsty and Tiffany running through the corridors of hell for minutes on end."

Hellraiser (1987)
"This is a solid creep-fest, with a great combination of eerie atmosphere and stellar gore work. Everything from Frank's rebirth in the muck and slime to the giant creature with the massive stinger that chases Kirsty through her brief trip in hell make this movie not only memorable but one worth watching multiple times."

Horror of Dracula (1958)
"The film is a beautiful technicolor masterpiece of old-fashioned gothic filmmaking that would have fit right in with the films of the 1930s and '40s. Featuring Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, heaving bosoms, and the world's first bloody Dracula, how in the world could you go wrong?"

Horror Rises from the Tomb (1973)
"The socialites end up crashing where the warlock was buried. Soon enough people become possessed and the killing spree begins. Notably, in true horror fashion, the women tend to lose some clothing around the time of their untimely deaths."

Inside (2007)
"Who would have imagined that you could make a hell of a tense movie about a pregnant lady fending off a crazy woman that takes place pretty much in a bathroom?!? ...others show up at the house (friends of Sarah, cops, etc.) and end up getting stabbed, bludgeoned, and dismembered in their quest to protect the defenseless Sarah."

Julie Darling (1983)
"I suggest tracking this film down if you enjoy a good game of chess or just like seeing Sybil Danning's ample bosom heaving. It may start a bit slow, but as soon as Julie's mom gets raped, the film slides into exploitation mode and becomes a clever mix of cat-and-mouse suspense, serial killer drama, and incest sleaze."

Jungle Holocaust (1977)
"We are treated to some graphic animal torture, cannibal attacks, human gore and savagery. You can’t miss the scene where a native woman gives birth to a child, cuts the umbilical cord with her teeth then drops the kid back in the water, providing an alligator lunch."

Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires, The (1974)
"Within the main chamber there is a very large cauldron with boiling blood. Around the cauldron are seven closed coffin like planks where topless Chinese women victims can often be found screaming during an evening of blood drinking. The golden vampires, once fed, wait for Dracula to bang his gong (I’m not kidding) and unleash them upon the village."

Let the Right One In (2008)
"Cramming in tortured love, violent, blood-soaked murders, and vampire hunter story points, this quiet little film does all a vampire film is expected to do, but adds a different dimension that most of them don’t have... The film certainly draws blood freely when it knows it has to."

Macabre (1980)
"Lucy has grown spiteful of her mother and begins a weird plan to throw things into disarray. And she starts by drowning her brother Michael in the bathtub. How this could be revenge is only logical in a twisted mind and Lucy is just that. The blind man gets aroused and gets fresh with Mrs. Baker during a strange, erotic bed-making scene. Later on she (Mrs. Baker) withdraws deeper into her sole obsession with her dead lover."

Macumba Sexual (1983)
"Tara (a transsexual who began life as a man) is known as The Goddess of Unspeakable Lust. She draws something in the sand and produces a small white statue. After performing fellatio on it her slaves stick it in her vagina and lick her tits until she goes crazy. The next morning they all meet up again with Alice inside the house and have an orgy."

Man From Deep River (1972)
"These are the adventures of a curious English photographer in an exotic land who falls in love with a 'froth at the crotch' hot primitive girl, played angelically by Me Me Lai. When it’s their turn the man sticks his hand in and is free to grope Maraya wherever he pleases. All the men grope her firm boobs and lower areas of her body."

Mark of the Devil (1970)
"In a small German town the local witch-finder Albino (yes that’s his name) thinks he is above the law and could get away with almost anything, abusing his power. Albino denounces Vanessa as a witch and she is whipped, poked (not with what your thinking) with a pointy metal stick and incarcerated."

Mountain of the Cannibal God, The (1978)
"While the tribe is sleeping, recovering from their lust orgies, a cannibal unties Susan and tries to rape her. He is caught and has his penis chopped off. You get a full frontal shot of the action. I thought this was done extremely well. The next sexually charged scene is of a boy having intercourse with a pig. The pig squeals crazily!"

Nekromantik (1987)
"One evening he brings Betty home a surprise. Inside a black plastic bag is a full rotting corpse. They rip open the bag right there and begin to make love to the corpse. To cope with the loss of his bitch girlfriend he goes to the movies and kills a cat and bathes in its blood and meats."

Oasis of the Zombies (1981)
"There is not much violence to the attacks and the zombies look decidedly z-grade, but there's a bit of gore as intestines are pulled hither and thither. The oasis location is strangely cozy and eerie at the same time, giving the film a nice atmosphere. The acting is at rock-stupid levels, the quality of the filmmaking is amateurish at best."

Phenomena (1985)
"A young (and very cute) Jennifer Connelly arrives at a creepy boarding school in Europe somewhereonly to find out that a psycho killer (is there any other kind?) is on the loose. It just so happens that Jennifer has some kind of connection with the killer and has a strange bond with insects as well."

Pieces (1982)
"He whacks her good a couple of times in the head then saws up her body into pieces. Our chainsaw wielding hero does a darn good job of cutting things up. There are a couple of chainsaw beheadings, an arm sliced off and other cool gruesome shots."

Rat Man (1988)
"We are introduced to the world's stupidest doctor who has brilliantly combined the semen of a rat and the egg of a monkey and created the Ratman. Little did they know that Ratman had stowed away in her purse and as soon as their plane is in the air, all hell breaks loose."

[Rec] (2007)
"Angela and her cameraman tag along and follow two firemen into an apartment building where the neighbors are complaing about the screams coming out of an old ladies apartment. They run upstairs with the cops that have responded to the scene and find the old lady bloody and out of her freaking mind! She bites one of the cops and all hell breaks loose."

Satan's Baby Doll (1982)
"There is a disturbing paraplegic jerk-off scene when the nun gives Miria's wheelchair bound uncle a sponge bath and there are a lot of other ridiculous things in this movie that make no sense. If you like your possession horror movies with some boobies and a bit of foreign weirdness, then you'll dig this movie."

Sinful Dwarf, The (1973)
"Dwarves are great, but perverted pimp dwarves are even better! Olaf is a creepy dwarf guy who runs a boarding house kind of thing with his bat-shit crazy mother. But behind the scenes, the boarding house is merely a cover for a den of drugged-up girls who are being held against their wills in the attic and are pimped out by Olaf, the sinful dwarf."

Strip Nude For Your Killer (1975)
"The gynecologist soon turns up murdered by someone in a black motorcycle get-up, with the helmet and all and now we have the foundation for a giallo. I felt as if my body were disemboweling itself while watching the many drab, ill paced, poorly lit sequences. I’m glad all the women were either fully naked or showing boob or this movie would have suffered a red death coffin."

Tenebre (1982)
"All of the killings seem to be related to Neal’s book. In one occasion pages from the novel were stuffed into a victim’s mouth. And of course Neal begins to receive anonymous letters from a supposed obsessed fan turned killer. The ex wife gets her arm chopped off in one of the most splatterific scenes I have ever seen. She holds her freaking stump as blood squirts allover the walls."

Torso (1973)
"Well the thrill of hunting young sex kittens is the heart of the movie; the subtle relationship between predator and prey. Almost every scene is charged with erotic or violent tension. There is plenty of nudity and a few sweet lesbian scenes thrown in. How can anyone not like this movie?"

Troll 2 (1990)
"The goblins take the form of human beings so as to draw real folks to danger. Goblins feed on humans but are vegetarians. So what they have to do is feed humans green concoctions (specially formulated meals disguised as average food) that will turn them into vegetation and render them edible to the goblins. You might be asking yourself if this all sounds messed up. Well it is, it’s amazing."

Two Evil Eyes (1990)
"Then the old man dies while under hypnosis and he’s caught between this world and the next. He says that the others are going to use him as a vessel to cross to our world. The second story is titled: The Black Cat directed by Argento. Harvey Keitel plays Roderick Usher, an unstable crime photographer. As to Argento’s story...casting Harvey Keitel in this role was really weird."

Virgin Among the Living Dead, A (1973)
"Then Christina wakes up in the morning and finds (I kid you not) a black dildo statue on the floor. She crawls to it in slow motion and smashes it, then Carmenze's blind slave girl appears in the corner and tells her that she has destroyed their only protection. Trust me, I doesn't make much sense in the film either."

Werewolf Shadow (1971)
"Genevieve tells Waldemar she’s looking for the grave of this vampire witch buried nearby. They agree to go looking for it in the morning. Waldemar conveniently forgets to tell the girls that he’s also living with his mental case sister and that he’s a muthafucking WEREWOLF!"

Werewolf Woman (1976)
"Daniela's ancestor was a werewolf and she would dance naked in a ring of torches and turn into a hairy-breasted retard and eat people. Basically our 'werewolf' woman (Daniela) stalks from location to location, watching people have sex and then killing them with her lame normal teeth and normal fingernails. Eventually she is arrested for being fucking crazy....and not a werewolf."

Who Can Kill a Child? (1976)
"But soon we start to realize, if not immediately by the creepy aura the kids are giving off, that all the adults have been killed off because the kids have suddenly gone berserk and become homicidal. The third great moment involves the change that takes place in the child baking in Evelyn's oven. That's right folks, a fetus kills its mother. There's a first for everything!"

Wicker Man, The (1973)
"There is everything from boisterous song and dance to sexual aberrations and bizarre rituals. Anyway, in this rite young naked girls in a circle take turns jumping through a fire pit in the center. The big May festival is here and all the freaks are out in their animal costumes. It’s like a carnival of depravity."

Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft (1998)
"Spanner is out, and Lutz takes center stage. Lutz (buxom Stephanie Beaton) returns from part 9 to reprise her role. The best scene is about a half hour in when we got a boatload of nudity. Beaton takes a sultry, big-breasted bath, the evil Raven and Hyde have crazy sex, and Celeste and her boyfriend Harry make it on their comfy bed."

Zombie (1979)
"A great Fulci film is like a sledgehammer to the groin, and this movie is a spiked sledgehammer set ablaze. There is an amazing, cringe-worthy scene in which a beautiful naked woman has her head forced toward a broken doorway by a rather violent zombie, and the closer she gets you start to realize that he's going to poke her in the eye with a splintery piece of door, and the final gory finish has to be seen to be believed."

Zombie Holocaust (1980)
"Peter is captured and George has his eyes poked out, is disemboweled, and eaten. I don’t remember how Lori ends up with the cannibals inside a large cave, fully naked, having cannibal girls paint blue flowers on her body."