Have you heard the one about the British biker gang of young punks aimlessly drifting through life, riding through town and pushing people around? You know, the one where they find a way to come back from the dead and are essentially zombie bikers in cool skull motorcycle helmets? Yeah, it sounds crazy awesome right? Well...it just so happens to be FUCKING RETARDED!

Director Don Sharp, who's done some solid work for Hammer Pictures, is responsible for this waste of an idea. Nicky Henson (Syriana) plays Tom Latham the leader of a lame biker gang that calls itself the living dead. Kind of an on-the-nose title if you think about the plot of this film, and it's full of stupid things like this. Anyway, Tom wants to find out the secrets of the living dead from his psychic mother and her creepy butler, Shadwell, played by George Sanders (from the original Saint, and Rebecca). Coincidentally, there is a rumor that this was Sanders' last film because he saw how shitty it was and it gave him a heart attack. Anyway, Tom presses his mother and Shadwell for information and they give in by letting him walk into one of the sealed rooms in their huge mansion. In this room, Tom's father died years ago, and now Tom will see what cannot be unseen...it turns out to be images of a frog superimposed on a mirror!

Anyway, Tom finds out because his mother spills the beans, and not because he entered some stupid frog room. She tell him that the way to come back after dying is just to die....but to believe that you will come back. That's it! That's all there is. It's that simple. Just kill yourself but know in your heart of hearts that you will return. Let that sink in for a moment. Is it possible that the writers didn't realize how stupid, how utterly retarded that explanation is? If that were the case there would be living dead people everywhere! But there isn't in this world. So Tom takes the new info and promptly kills himself. His gang buries him with full honors, which means they dig a deep ass hole and bury him sitting up on his motorcycle. Tom returns soon after, riding right out of the grave like a bat out of hell. And what's his first stop? Maybe a bit of flesh eating and carnage? No...he has to GET GAS FOR HIS MOTORCYCLE! How fucking stupid is that? This guy is from the other side of life and his motorcycle still needs gas? I was severely pissed at this movie at this point.

Anyway, Tom reunites with his gang and convinces them that all they have to do is die but want to come back, and they will be unkillable and super strong, or some shit. They all agree a bit too easily and what follows in the second act is the random members of the gang killing themselves. There's one memorable moment where one of the guys plummets off an overpass into a truck's path and it looks VERY real.

Anyway, Tom's girl Abby doesn't want to kill herself and she tells the cops that Tom and the living dead gang are responsible for all the stuff that is happening in town. And what is happening? Well, when you come back from the dead indestructible and stronger, what would you do? Take over the city? Well, these guys decide to just go mess up some grocery stores and knock over some cans of soup. Oh, badass! Glad these guys came back from the dead. Who needs perfectly stacked cans and uncrushed loaves of bread? However, the only reason this movie gets one drop of blood for "beasts" is because one of the girls in the gang crashes her motorcycle into a baby carriage, with a baby in it! That was kind of a giant leap in awful for such a silly bunch of twits. Anyway, to make a stupid story short, Tom's mother feels she has created a monster and breaks her pact with Shadwell, who turns out to be the devil, or a frog demon or something, and the living dead gang turn into stone. That's right, somehow they all just turn into stone, two of them, and one looks like a Hershey's kiss...or a poop. Maybe the movie was trying to tell us something.

This movie had such a promising idea, but shits on it with ridiculous story points and moronic dialog. There is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing to recommend in this movie. This sucks because this is one of those movies I have always been dying to see based on the plot alone. But ham-fisted acting, ridiculous scripting, and lame execution mar what could have been an unkillable classic.

- Jose Prendes