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BEASTS
BREASTS
Original title: Leviatán
Director: Claudio Fragasso
Writer: Claudio Fragasso
Cast---
Alice Cooper ... Vince Raven
Victoria Vera ... Sandra
Carlos Santurio ... Frank
María José Sarsa ... Marilou
Pepita James ... Angela
Emilio Linder ... Jordan
Runtime: Spain: 84 min | UK: 81 min | USA:84
min
Writer: Claudio Fragasso
Cast---
Alice Cooper ... Vince Raven
Victoria Vera ... Sandra
Carlos Santurio ... Frank
María José Sarsa ... Marilou
Pepita James ... Angela
Emilio Linder ... Jordan
Runtime: Spain: 84 min | UK: 81 min | USA:84
min
MONSTER DOG (1984)
Directed by the infamous Italian Uwe Boll, Claudio Fragasso (responsible for the masterpiece shitfest
Troll 2) this film is notable for only one reason. Rockstar God Alice Cooper plays...a rockstar, believe it
or not, who may just be a werewolf. This simple premise sets up an old fashioned scare film that isn't
great, but sure is fun to watch.
Alice plays Vincent Raven, a super popular rockstar. We are introduced to him at the beginning of the
movie by one of his fun music videos. Incidentally, Alice sings two songs in the film and they were both
written by him. This is the only time you can actually hear his real voice because someone thought it
would be a good idea to dub his voice even if there was no need to. Anyway, Vincent and his director
girlfriend Sandra (played by the lovely Victoria Vera) have brought along some friends for his latest
music video shoot. Vince has decided to return to his ancestral home in the fog-shrouded moors of Italy,
or some unnamed American countryside. The problem is that his family has a history there that he has
tried to avoid, but must face now. His father was murdered and burned to ashes by the townsfolk
because they believed he was a werewolf that was controlling all the local dogs and killing off the
innocent townsfolk. It just so happens that Vince's return coincides with a string of random dog attacks
that have gripped the small hamlet with fear.
After a run-in with a bloody guy on the road, who warns them that they are all going to die, the gang
settles into Vince's mansion and they start to get their video shoot underway. During their shoot, the
body of the mansion's caretaker crashes through a window. He has been mauled to death and they start
to think that the wild dogs in the area might have somehow gotten into the house. One of the girls in the
group gets freaked out and runs away. Vince chases after her with a shotgun while the others stay back.
Now the film takes a turn and becomes Straw Dogs. Four of the guys from town show up with guns and
convince the gang to let them inside. Once inside, they take the kids hostage and wait for Vince to
return. They believe he shares the werewolf curse with his father and want to put a silver bullet into him.
He eventually comes back and a tense shootout begins. Alice does a fine job as the badass with a
shotgun, even if he is wearing a bizarre leather outfit and is sporting silver eyeliner. During the battle,
the house is overrun with wild dogs that seem to stream out of the woods. The monster dog arrives, and
even though we never get a nice long look at it (probably because it sucks) I would say it looks like a
mutated German Shepherd and not so much a werewolf, but whatever. Vince shows up and saves
Sandra and the remaining gal, Marilou.
The gals fall asleep, but Sandra later wakes up to find Vince surrounded by the dogs. It's almost as if
he is controlling them, but he is as surprised as she is. Is he really cursed? Is he really the monster dog
without knowing it? They take advantage of this lull in the storm to head to the car and get the hell out of
town. But wouldn't you know it, the monster dog makes a final appearance and bites Vince. So he wasn't
the werewolf thing after all, but now he starts turning into one. Sandra, realizing there is nothing else she
can do, blows away her rockstar lover and wanders away in a daze. Then we get a recap of the movie
while the opening music video plays again and the credits roll.
Feel like you're missing something? Well, I sure do. Who the hell was the other monster dog!?! If it
wasn't Vince, and it has to be a "person", who the fuck was it!?! The film not only fails to answer this, but
ignores the fact completely. Sandra shot one monster dog, but there is still another running around.
Unless it died in the car accident that occurred after Vince got bit...but it is never really made clear to us.
In any case, I really enjoyed this movie. The fog-choked atmosphere and the creepy surroundings
reminded me of an old-fashioned old-dark-house movie. Alice did a great job, even if they didn't use his
voice, and the rest of the cast was fine (minus a few cheesy scenes). There was plenty of blood, but a
dearth of boobage, which was kind of a shame. The effects were crap, and the plot was nonsensical, but
it somehow all worked despite its many flaws. This will never be considered a masterpiece in any sense
of the word (like Troll 2 is a masterpiece of crappy movies) it is too good to suck completely and too
stupid to be actually good, but bad movie connoisseurs will definitely enjoy it...Alice Cooper fans will too!
- Jose Prendes
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