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OVERALL
BEASTS
BREASTS
Director: Michael Paul Girard
Writer: Stephen Downing
Cast---
Landon Hall ...  Sheila
David Byrnes ...  Will Spanner
Julius Antonio ...  Jack / Kofu
Stephanie Beaton ...  Det. Lucy Lutz
Mikul Robins ...  Garner
Leah Kourtne Ballantine ...  Keli (as Kourtine
Ballentine)


Runtime: 92 min
WITCHCRAFT IX: BITTER FLESH (1997)

 Will Spanner is alive, but it’s not what you’d expect. Michael Paul Girard (who directed part seven) is
back at the helm along with David Byrnes reprising his role as  Spanner once again, but this time he has
a goatee. Lutz is now played by Stephanie Beaton (from nothing famous in particular) and Garner by
Mikul Robins (from Hell Comes to Frogtown 2). This is perhaps the shoddiest installment in the series,
with asinine performances from the cast,  a script seemingly written by a kindergartener and lackluster
sex scenes. Whatever charm this series may have held at first has long ago withered into nothingness.
What we have here is an impoverished attempt at film production. It hovers dangerously close to the
Red Death coffin.

 The film picks up roughly after part seven ends (the Will Spanner character does not appear in part
eight). There is a double homicide at an art exhibit and Spanner’s soul exits one of the bodies as we are
treated to several flashbacks of his death in the seventh film. I never said this would make sense dear
reader. So Will is now a ghost wandering around this seedy neighborhood. As he comes to realize the
nature of his situation we start to follow a big breasted hooker on her late night sex-capades. We also
learn that there is a satanic, ritualistic killer on the loose. Detective Lutz and Garner investigate the
murders of two young women who have had their hearts carved out.

 Spanner has nothing better to do as a ghost than to spy on the hooker. As he’s watching her have sex
with some guy on a rooftop we learn that although nobody can see him, the hooker can hear his voice;
sort of like Patrick Swayze and Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost. After the customer is spooked off Spanner
starts talking to the hooker, whose name is Sheila. They go back to her place and talk some more. She’s
not weirded-out by all this because (she relates) she was in a terrible motorcycle accident a while back
and ended up in a coma for awhile. Ever since she awoke she’s come to realize she has certain
supernatural powers. Will wants her to talk to his girlfriend Kelly for him… you know, let her know he’s
still around. Later that night her pimp comes in and rapes her while Spanner just watches. I swear that
Spanner is the most helpless, pussy, son of a bitch ever.

 Lutz and Garner consult an expert in Egyptian mythology or some crap because arcane symbols were
found at the crime scenes. She feeds us some mumbo-jumbo nonsense about an Egyptian cult that
predates Christ and may still be around today performing human sacrifices. Garner is skeptical about
the whole thing. Let’s get back to Spanner and his whore sidekick. When they get to his house a
FORCE FIELD blocks Spanner from entering. Sheila goes down to the basement and sees a satanic
room with a hooded druid mumbling some prayers. Meanwhile Spanner sees a guy butt-fucking Kelly
through the window. Wait a second, it’s not another guy…it’s Spanner! That’s right, there are two
Spanners now!
 Sheila goes to Lutz and Garner with her story and Garner is skeptical yet again. She says the curse is
broken and that now it is more powerful than ever. She psychically gets the name of the killer. His name
is Kofu  WTF??? What curse? Kofu? At this point I laugh at myself as we cut to Spanner walking around
aimlessly around an empty back-lot. I realize now that anything can happen in this movie and we are at
the mercy of the kindergartener who wrote this shit. It gets a lot worse. Will’s ghost jumps into Sheila’s
body to help fight her pimp off, save Kelly before she becomes the next sacrifice, and face-off with his
evil twin, which is actually a demon spirit in Will’s body.

 If your curious about the mysterious hooded druid, the Egyptian cult, Kelly’s fate and all the rest you
can check out the movie yourself. That might be tough since it hasn’t been released on DVD. Ok, Ill tie
things up for you. Will jumps into Sheila’s body and they fight off Kelly’s attackers (mostly Kelly does the
fighting I figure since Spanner is such a spaz). Lutz and Garner show up on the scene with guns drawn
but do nothing but watch. The hooded druid turns out to be Sheila’s psychotic pimp and Spanner jumps
back into his own body. The identity of the evil spirit who was previously in the body is a mystery and I
still haven’t figured out who Kofu is or what he does.

  Out of strength I hand the infernal series over to Jose. He will be handling parts ten through twelve. I
will nail the coffin shut with the final review of Witchcraft XIII. I hope it doesn’t scar him too badly. Mental
breakdown is just something that comes with the job here at Splatter. When it is all over and done with
we will have the best in depth coverage around for the Witchcraft films. That’s a good thing… right?




                                                                                              - Jorge Antonio Lopez

                                                                                            
N / A
NO COFFINS !
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Witchcraft IX: Bitter Flesh (1997)
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