If I were the devil and I wanted to fuck up some humans, what would I use to do so? Would it be war, pestilence, famine? No, there are horsemen for that. It would need to be something humans use that I could turn around and use on them in crazy, violent ways. Wait a minute, I know! I'd use a car! Yeah, an indestructible car that never gets damaged and can ram the shit out of everything and can survive a rolling flip and drive straight through a house. That's what I'd be. Then I saw this movie, and I knew I'd chosen correctly.

James Brolin (Barbara Streisand's sex toy) plays Wade, a deputy sheriff of a small southwestern town. You know the place, it's your typical quiet little desert town where everyone knows your name. Things are slow in the sleepy hamlet until a mysterious black car (half-limo and half-town car with a low-slung roof) shows up and starts making some dust. The problems start when that dust settles and dead bodies are left in its wake. The first to go are a young couple bicycling through the peaceful mountains. Then a hitchhiker gets ground into hamburger in the dust (which we don't really see). Soon enough Wade and his never-ending team of deputies are on the case and their sheriff is riding them hard to track the bastard driving the car down.

That night, of course, our old crusty sheriff gets run down by the car, and Wade becomes the new sheriff. Now he has to deal with the grief of his mentor's death AND the responsibilities of his new job. First up on the to-do list is catching this fucking car. The next day he finds out that one witness reports that no one was driving the car that hit the sheriff, so what the fuck is actually happening here? Wade is on the case, but they don't seem to be making any headway until the car shows up to terrorize a marching band practice that Wade's girlfriend is leading. Incidentally, Wade has two daughters from a previous marriage, and they are played by actual sisters Kyle Richards (who was Lindsey in Halloween) and my one time crush Kim Richards (Escape to Witch Mountain, Devil Dog).

Anyway, Wade's girl Lauren survives and manages to save her future stepchildren too. The car manages to get away after a fantastic chase and everyone finds it very strange that the car wouldn't cross into the cemetery, which was holy ground. Interesting, huh? I wonder who's driving? That night, the car gets his revenge on Lauren, who taunted the car, by...are you ready for it?....DRIVING THROUGH HER FUCKING HOUSE AND RUNNING HER OVER! Now Wade is pissed, and the film comes to a stunning conclusion with a furious chase sequence through the desert canyons that ends in a fiery climax that reveals the true identity of the driver of the mysterious black car. Wanna find out who it was? Then go watch the movie, you won't be disappointed.

This 1977 movie about a killer car is ridiculously awesome and suspenseful, and you wouldn't immediately think that would be the case. Directed by Elliot Silverstein (Cat Ballou, A Man Called Horse, and the 1967 The Happening, which was a comedy on purpose unlike that other similarly titled film), this tightly paced and well-executed movie is a diamond in the rough. It might not have had the boobs and blood to rate very high, but the solid suspense was good enough for me and that black car is one fuck of a villain. If you've never seen it, or maybe just heard of it, I urge you to track it down and give it a watch because it's a great muscle car of a movie with plenty of gas to spare.

- Jose Prendes