I had seen the cover to this movie at blockbuster back when I was a teenager and I would have rented it if I wouldn’t have had a strict mother. The cover is a cartoon, it shows a cheerleader in a midair cheer with pompoms flaring. Behind her is a campy fun scene. But the eyes are drawn to two things: The cheerleader’s face is a skull with an evil grin and you can see under her shirt the lower portion of her breasts.

Today I own Cheerleader Camp, unfortunately. Hell, I was hooked by the title and box cover art alone. This movie feels like an early Troma picture. Troma specializes in low budget sleaze, usually in the form of horror-comedies or sex-comedies. Now I say early because Cheerleader Camp would be considered tame Troma, unlike the depravity shown today.

Welcome to Camp Hurrah where lame, hollow, stereotypical characters wind up in goofy situations, talk nonsense and are killed in rather boring fashion (except for a bear-trap to the face kill). Oh God... I didn’t know it would hurt this bad. The story goes as follows: A squad of high school cheerleaders (including two guys and a mascot girl with full alligator outfit) head to a cheerleader camp to prepare for and compete for the all-state finals. The popular cheerleader is tormented by weird dreams of inadequacy, violence and confusion. The rest of the crew has their own stereotype issues, like the rowdy overweight party-starter or the neglected low self- esteem mascot girl. There’s more but I don’t want to ruin it for you (sarcasm).

Anyway, in-between cheap sex jokes and a couple of mild topless scenes the bodies start hitting the ground. Less than half a dozen; don’t think I meant half the camp is slaughtered, oh I wish that might have been. Then we start winding down to a who-dun-it in typical high school slasher fashion.

I don’t recommend this film at all but if you do decide to see it see if you can pick out the culprit an hour into the movie. I took an educated gamble and was right. But my friends, the worst part was tying up the loose ends. I should have felt glad that it was finally over but instead I choked on my own vomit. Terrible clean up work. These people obviously are unaware of what a good story and satisfying ending are.

Id like to end on a happy note. As I mentioned above there was a bear-trap to the face scene which did surprise me, among the many wandering in the woods crap. Please don’t extend the pain. There was a great scene where the fat guy (must have been drunk) is partying on stage and falls off crushing the janitor’s head with his massive knee. And a horrendously retarded part where the fat dude and the other man-cheerleader give us a somewhat lengthy rap introduction to cheer up the squad. Because of these quite funny scenes and the bear trap face I give the movie one coffin. But I better not think about this any longer because this picture was a baby’s breath away from receiving the fearful red death coffin.

- Jorge Antonio Lopez