Let's face it, psycho kids are scarier than some grown up retard in a mask. A kid represents all that is good and innocent about the human species, and that is why we strive to keep our kids away from bad influences. So when a kid turns from a cherub-faced darling into a cold, calculating killing machine, our blood naturally runs cold. This little known picture about such a subject is one of the best cinematic examples of such a situation.

The film begins when a yellow van slips on the ice-slick mountain roads of Colorado or some such place and rolls violently down a hill, crashing in a ravine. The crash kills the chaperones, but miraculously the five kids riding inside are safe and sound...well, not that sound I guess. Almost immediately, we can tell something is wrong with these kids. They all appeared to be dressed for a costume party, for one thing. There is a black kid who thinks he's a soldier, a girl who dresses as a nun, a posh-looking little boy who might just be hiding in the closet (if you get my drift), a pyromaniac girl, and then a smaller girl who just seems to be stuck in infancy.

Anyway, this crazy bunch of kids tracks through the snow until they come upon a cabin in the woods. In this cabin, a mobster named Papa Doc (an Irish lumberjack-type) has gathered his gang and their slutty ladies for a weekend getaway or some such thing. Honestly, I wasn't sure they were mobsters, but the box cover filled me in (thanks mysterious box synopsis man). The kids stumble into the basement of the house and kill one of the survivors from the wreck, who tracked them to the house to stop them. The first kill looks like it could have been spectacular if they hadn't decided to shoot it in grainy black and white and slowed it down to a crawl. The kids are taken in by the adults shortly after and slowly creep them out until the killing begins.

They cut the phone lines and destroy the cars, stranding everyone at the cabin. The retarded manservant is hung by the neck by a booby-trapped generator. A big-boobed woman goes for a swim with piranhas in her bathtub. Pap Doc is taken out with a sword and a swing set. A crazy drunk lady takes a gasoline shower followed by the pyro kid's rinse and repeat. A frantic woman takes a spear right in the neck and barely bleeds. And to top them all, a man falls on some bear traps! The kids are once again without parental guidance and are free to be as wacky as they want to be. The film ends with the tantalizing words "THE BEGINNING", but alas a sequel was never produced.

I would have loved to see what those psycho kids would have done if let loose on a small town. But as it is, the film is great. I wasn't expecting much at the beginning, but the inventive deaths and seriously creepy kids made the film memorable. This was truly a creepy and disturbing film, even if the middle of it sagged like a fat man's belly. Plus, there's a great seducing-the-retard scene that leads to some heavy rabbit feeding (watch the movie to see what I mean) and some nice boobage. You'll be able to find this one in those 50 DVD bundles, and I guarantee you you'll enjoy yourselves. After all, it's five devils for the price of one.

- Jose Prendes