This is the second in the infamous Coffin Joe series, and it will probably be the first and only film in the Coffin Joe series I will ever see. Imagine a black and white Brazilian horror film directed by David Lynch, and written by an occult philosopher. Sounds cool, right? Well, no, it isn't. This film was so full of itself, and its crazy ideas, that they'd have to invent a new word for it, because pretentious is not enough to cover it all.

Writer and Director Jose Mojica Marins plays Ze De Caixao, who has been recently cleared of the crimes he committed in the first film. What he did in the first film, I'm not really sure, but I gather it had something to do with looking for the perfect woman to bear his perfect child, because he says he can continue looking for the perfect woman at the start of this one, with the help of his stupid-looking hunch-backed assistant. People are weary of him around town, even though he has been proven innocent (which he isn't), there are still rumors that he is a murderer and a son of the devil. The rumors are apparently true, because he spends most of the movie bullshiting about occult philosophy or some crap like that, which takes the film out of the Dr. Orloff-style plot and more into the realm of the ridiculous What the Bleep do We Know.

Soon, women start to disappear around town, and fingers get pointed right at Ze (or Coffin Joe, but I have no idea how he got this name). So he proclaims his innocence and promises to find the man responsible (which is him), but with this clever ploy the spotlight shifts slightly off of him and onto a mysterious killer who may be more cunning and cruel than Ze himself. Of course he doesn't really spend any time looking for this killer, just rounding up a group of busty young girls to compete for the honor of his horrible seed. Who would want that and why is unimportant, because eventually he finds the right, goth-minded chick to get his groove on with. Unfortunately, everyone finds out that he kidnapped a shitload of girls and he is chased into the dark woods of a Brazilian warehouse. Then some stupid shit happens, and it goes on way too long, and the movie thankfully ends.

This is the second in a trilogy of films, which has been released in a neat little coffin-shaped box set. This was one box set I had always wanted to get, but never had. I am happy that I never did. The film is way too long, as I have mentioned before, to be pleasurable. Way too abstract to be enjoyable or coherent for that matter. It is peppered with bizarro philosophical diatribes that mean nothing and go nowhere. Stuff along the lines of, and this is not a direct quote, but what it sounded like: "The night is full of demon bones and when a breath is given to spirit women the clouds will part like blood-drenched eyes to look upon dirt filled with lies and horses take my chicken dinner to the moon". That's pretty much the kind of crazy talk we get from the film's hero, who isn't much of a hero or a writer. These films apparently have a cult following, so if you're into Spanish horror films, which I am, then you might enjoy this bizarre film. Then again you might not, seeing as its a completely boring waste of time. The sad part is that it could have been very cool, but director Marins decided to make a metaphysical statement. All he ended up doing was metaphysically pissing me off.

- Jose Prendes